-vanvan

merry xmas!

Faith — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 08:19:30 +0000

merry xmas peeps!

it has been a long time since i’ve last updated my blog eh.. en. jus because audition has been taking much of my time. hehe. well, cus amos is online so i’m always rushing to audition to meet him there to tag hearts! X))

anyhow, xmas this year was simple. way too simple. then, lion is missing again. he has gone mia, for about like, a month? i dono what went wrong. ever since he told me he had exams that week, he went missing. hmmm. don ask me please. i want him back thou.

then, i rmb the hottest event that happened this month was the basketball camp 4D3N on 14dec-17dec. it was freaky, giving cramps to all muscles. plus, my mad woman wasnt there. totally so not fun. nobody mad with me. sad! CHARMAINE, YOU SUCK! *bleh*

&&, baby seems to love me more each day still! X3

at least i’m glad i’ve passed the 3 days love-sick test when he was away in Genting. i missed him terribly. but now, after he’s back from th trip, we were on the phone til 2am && he fell sick th next day, && the next, && the next. haihs. hopefully, he will recover soon.

i miss my friends too~~~

where the fuck is limus wong.

longtime

Faith — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:11:14 +0000

it has been a long time since i last posted on my blog. so am back now to drop a post! X))

well, i ended th fun of th day with my closer friends. we went ice skating. dew was amazing. he was like so fast man! he’s the PRO among th 6 of us. so we were like some ducklings && he was th mother duck. lol. but my legs are both sore && numb now. my muscle aches! haihs! i hope tml training wont be so tedious!

shh, i’ll probably just say i fell on my ass so i cant train! XDD

&& i did fall ok! jessica pulled me by accident. she pulled carina && dew too. it was funny. justin seemed to had loads of fun today. lol! he must be enjoying then. but still, sad enough, 6 of us were not maximum joy! ato, narinee couldnt make it. && others too.

oh! before that we had pizzas too! X))

&& things are still not improving as much as we wanted to between me && huayao. still, i believe it takes two hands to clap. i’m hoping for some miracle to happen. his mom called me ytd jus cus she was wondering if he had lessons. && ms ku asked me bout him. && other friends did too. then, coach only remembers me as one person jus after a month plus.

hua yao’s girlfriend.

anyhow, time is running out now. why? cus i gotta run to my dreamland now now now! goodnight peeps. toddles!

saturday

Faith — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:25:20 +0000

ytd was friday. actually its friday, the 13th. haha. i believe its my luckiest day thou! well, everything turned out ok.. at least other than econs? it was too bored. plus, the conversation lessons were all skipped. i skipped all of it. zzz. and charmaine ended smsing me in malay && i was like, wtf? i onl understand abit niia siia. zz. okok, whatever. > <

then, huayao came sch around 11plus? and he went to play bball. so since i skipped the conversation lessons, i went to find him. but anyway, we were playing bball. the first team was me && huayao against Terence, David && Daryl. second game was me && David lor. all the way till lightening alert came. damn sian. zzz. && then went to feed the cats. will post the cat photo some other time. cuz it was the first time i fed all three of them together. boy, bruce && ginger. i believe they were too hungry. they were like meowing so loudly! after that, went to find the guys && went to Sherman’s house.

&& after Sherman’s house, i pei huayao take 85 back home. well, we decided to not go the Nee Soon South CC to play cus it was raining. abit too heavy for his new bball shoes thou. lol. then, in th bus, li huayao “crab” me. crabbing is like using the 5 fingers to pinch the waist hardly. so its like a crab! lol, our copyright stuff. && its blue-blacked now!!! its damn pain, so pain i finally understood what’s with that face whenever i crabs him..

&& after i sent him home, i went home to audi lor. of cus, its after shower! the rain has totally drenched my hair man. oh well, so friday the 13th was again considered as my lucky day, becus i had a great day with him. least there was no no no quarrels at all.

gahh! my hair is cut! i’m like so sad la!!!! ultimate sadness! sigh. i miss my messy hair. && also miss my rebonded hair. but i guess, i’ll rebond it again during the holidays. XDD i’m damn looking forward to 26th nov. its gonna be an ice skating day!! && also, my last day in Singapore!

firstday

Faith — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:59:20 +0000

today is the first day without him. officially. i have called him ytd at 16 53. i told him i need a pause right now. the pw is stressing me. plus there were alot other problems too. i don wanna face them, but i know i cant run away from them. but anyway, i have enough too. i’m like reli veh tired. not that i don love him anymore. its jus that i reli feel strengthless this week. everything is sucking my energy. if time were to come, i will just say goodbye.

i found wat bib said was true. “when i text you, it means i miss you. and when i don’t text you, it simply means i’m waiting for you to miss me.”

but no, he has never make th first move in texting me. ok, let’s be fair. sure, he has. but almost 100% will be asking, “what time am i to go to sch tmr?”

太想爱你是我抑压不了的念头
想要全面占领你的喜怒哀愁
你已征服了我
却还不属于我
叫我如何不去猜测你在想甚么
太想爱你是我抑压不了的折磨
能否请你不要不要选择闪躲
只想爱你的我
太想爱你的我
难道只能在迷雾中猜你的轮廓
li hua yao. i miss you alot. but i’m fighting hardly within myself. i feel terrible inside, but i believe what i’m doing is right.

Faith — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:16:41 +0000

关怀方式

寂寞开在心事旁随手种一些伤感不让星星来窥探找个沉默的夜晚找个沉默的夜晚不让星星来窥探随手种一些伤感寂寞开在心事旁我的关怀方式是你无法察觉的悲凉只能在你不经意时才锁上我心房你往常的亲切友善是我今生的遗憾受伤后无悔的埋在不流露的脸上

am dying from pw. damn sian siia. zzz!!!

save me someone!

chinesetml

Faith — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:20:55 +0000

its our first a lvl paper of this week. chinese. zzz. and friday would be my pw day. sian. haihs.

but i cant wait for tml. cus my dad is gonna pick that jackass up with Francis, the cat that we found loitering in yjc. >.< shiok. well, least i hope he’ll be on time tomorrow && not leave a bad impression on my dad! i cant wait to see Francis. he’s handsome. those eyes are damn charming. awwww. but of cus, no one wins Legolas from Lord of the Rings man!

anyway, ytd baby finally found time to chat with me on the phone. well, like an hour plus in total. i was happy alred. && yeah, ytd was our 7th monthniversary. X) if u’re asking me why the sudden change..please don. beats me. i’m broke this month from buying some other things so i doubt i’m giving him any gifts. oh, i did give him something on Friday. Francis, the cat. brought it over to Seng Kang from Yishun with Cami. && Francis pee-ed in the cage! thank gawd there was a cage!

i’m not feeling well today. currently, i’m still having some major spinning within my head. perhaps, i should audi…!

Faith — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:29:38 +0000

Its like jus 3 more days to our 7^th monthsary. But I am alred feeling bad. Like damn damn bad. I dono how I should go about fixing this complicated puzzle. Let’s face the truth. 80% of the symptoms have arose from this relationship to indicate a silent break had happened. I really dono how to cope with this anymore. Studies, basketball, friends are always listed first under ur list. I always tell u how I felt, but things never change for better. I’m hearing everything u say, but are u absorbing my words? I doubt so yeah. I let my mind go wild, wilder as days pass. Letting my thoughts take control deep within my heart of my mind. I’ve lost the spirit in my world, so depressed with sensitive thoughts that hurt. I try hard to blot u outta my mind, but things never turn out the way I wanted. No matter how hard I tried for us to make up after every quarrel, things were still go back to how it was after a day or two. We are torturing one another. No, scratch that. You are torturing me, tearing me apart. But I find no strength in fighting back anymore. Or rather, I find no point in saying any more. Every words I say, I gotta say it twice and more for u to absorb. Kimberly is jus an example of us. But somehow, she has a better boyfriend. Why is it that a 13 year old couple can fix problem and we can never patch up that hole tat has surfaced in us? A 13 year old Gary and a 13 year old Kimberly can think things in a more sensible manner as compared to us? What should I say? that they are more matured? That’s a truth. Gary makes an effort in changing for Kimberly, who is just like a clone of me. Every question I holds in my mind, she has it too. Every thought I stored within head, she’s having it too. Maybe things were never meant to be, u know. It never meant to be. To you, feelings have probably faded even more than before because you too, got tired of my bullshit.

it has been 7 months, yet you still do not know what i want && you do not even want to know what i want? if that’s what u say, then i really got nothing to say. totally.

pissed

Faith — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:33:48 +0000

i am veh angry. lik, super angry. i jus got pang seh by that f.u.c.k.e.r again. im like damn piss off now in AVA. i wanna continue doing the pw work but my blood is boiling. c’mon man. which guy would leave the fucking school without telling his girlfriend that he has left? and which guy would put on facebook to say that he misses other girls? bullshit.

its simply bullshit.

i’m gonna change my life now man. to think i actually got so affected by a guy who fucking don put any effort or even don care. since he wanna boh chup everything, fine, li hua yao, try me dude, try me. i’ll fuck my way out of ur world man.

one word

Faith — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:31:49 +0000

the only word to portrait my life is “stupidity”.

19oct

Faith — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:16:27 +0000

i went amk for movies with that jerk ytd..19oct. we watched sorority row. i think its nice lorh. but somehow, i was startled by the sudden background sound not jus once but many times. && he were like laughing over that, asking me why.. zzz? how i know! i alred said its the background noise not i scare! u know everytime when the murder suddenly appear, they will have this loud bang in the background. yeah, that’ s the one. && there was once, he had to cover my eyes so i will not get another jump. the movie was awesome. it was jus the right blood level man. watching that glass bottle being pressed down her throat && when her neck was slashed, blood were gushing into the bottle. then, another one, Megan, she was slashed thru her chest. && yeah, it was so damn real. really. its definitely better than SAW. SAW blood looked a little too watery. shld add more starch to make it thicker! XP

then he went walked for like 2 hours liddat && we went home. he said he was tired && that he onl slpt for 5 hours. oh yeah, he needs 8-10 hours of sleep. sometimes, its even more. but ytd, he was alred amazing in tolerating my mood swings. he even confirmed my period came without even me telling. zzz!

oh and i was onl half a head shorter than him today. why? happy guessing!

anyone else having mood swings?